Sunday, December 22, 2013

Caught Between Boredom and Excitement

It's crazy, to be caught between boredom and excitement. My life's been nothing but busy, and now that I'm out of school and 'relaxing' for the Holidays--I find myself bored most of the time. There are a few times when I'm not so bored, when I'm doing stuff with my family, friends, or sending out a quick post to you lot. Hints why I've been posting so much lately. :( But most of the time I wander about aimlessly, thinking about all the great things that are yet to come.

I'm excited about Christmas--but it's so close now, that's the problem. It's close but not here, and that drives me crazy! Maybe it's because I'm not patient, or maybe it's because I'm really excited about the iPod I may be getting for Christmas. I've been dying for one for a while now--and while I always swore I'd never cave and get one...I will admit now that I have completely caved and I'm really thrilled about getting my hands on one. Only problem is, I have to wait. Tedious days that tick past slowly are absolute torture for me. Just let the Christmas celebration start already! I'm going to go insane!

Then I'm excited about going back to school. I miss the friends I met there, and I'm really eager to start back. I hesitate though, to be excited here because I could have a completely rotten semester. While I hope that won't happen--I still worry. I'm praying hard about it. I'm praying that God will amaze me and make this semester even better than the last.

But in the meantime I have to sit and wait for my school to start back--which means, for me, worrying over this semester will be too much for me to handle or that I will have a really hard time with my fellow classmates and or teachers. I'll admit, I'm a worrier--and God is working on me in that area. I don't like unknowns, I don't handle them well--but I hope to get better. Trusting God is hard for me, I confess.

It's tedious, to say the least, to wait excitedly for things. When you do everything around you becomes less than thrilling and you quickly become bored. It's strange because, before, I was more than content to stay cooped up in my room and busy myself with a few of my own personal projects--but now all I want to do is go places and see things. I want to go cool places with my family and friends, make new friends (choosing wisely), and even have some busy work that moves me towards an ultimate goal of mine! 

But God has me here, and I think he wants me to spend this time with my family--and working on a few things in myself. Sometimes I reason and say "Oh, you're fine right now--but look at all you can't have right now!". Reasoning, refuting God's word because it doesn't make sense to me, is a problem for me and it enables me to create a million and one excuses for not doing what God has called me to do. 

I have to also remember that while there are some pretty cool things that I have to wait for--there are also some REALLY awesome things I have right now! 

Things I Have Now: 

Time to spend with God, and time to grow in Him. (It's a rare time to readjust my priorities and work on a few things in myself.) 

Time with my family, (Holiday times are always special!)

Time to write and work on my book, (I have twenty eight chapters out of forty done! So happy! But I still have a long way to go! I'm making some big changes to the middle of the book--basically dumping what I had and writing new material. 0_0 Giant thing for us writers!)

Time to spend with my really close friends (My friends Jessie and Clara are coming over tomorrow and I am really looking forward to seeing them!)

Time to work on personal projects (Like cleaning out my closet....dun dun DUN!) 

Time to read (this is VITAL to writing...a good author needs to read just as much as they write!) 

Time to celebrate, 

Time to relax (I won't have uninterrupted relaxation time for a while after I start back to school!)

Time to get my health and caffeine intake back on track (slipped up on that these past few days) 

Time to practice my photography! 

Time to reconnect with old friends,

Time to catch up on some of my favorite shows! Just finished "The Office" and, by the by, LOVED IT! Dwight is hilarious and I want to marry a man just like Jim someday! I'm trying to get my brother to watch it now. 

And, also....a few more days before The Doctor regenerates. 

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