I Went Downstairs for Food, I Came Back with Chocolate and a Baby Name

There are things in our lives that come along when we least expect. For instance, your pajama pants getting snagged under your feet while running, causing you to do a somersault across the lawn and ending with your hands and legs bloody, was definitely something you were not expecting this morning when you quietly shuffled out of bed.

Or submitting three photos to a magazine--expecting to wait three to four weeks for a reply--and getting a personal email from the editor three days later complementing your work and letting you know that all the photos you submitted have been accepted.

Or dying to go out and get some new photos and then getting a call from some old photography friends who want to drive out somewhere cool for a photoshoot.

Those are the kind of things that come in without warning, some little, some big, some annoying, some pleasant. Either way they come swarming in throughout your day whether you notice or not, and granted some days are slower than others--but I can gladly say that today has been filled so far by these unexpected moments. One of the most monumental being the possible name choice for our new baby brother.

As you have all been hearing, for the past several months, my family is in the process of adopting another child from China--and we recently underwent the terrible tragedy of a failed adoption.

Katie, the young seven year old girl my family was planning to adopt, had a sudden downturn in her health. Her mental state was deteriorating, and that therefore made her adoption a special case--one in a special classification. My family fought hard, but we were unable to adopt dear Katie. We still pray for her, and it has been a very hard time--especially for my mom. We prayed, and we waited--not easy for us. The odds seemed to be against us and NOTHING was lining up. It was very bleak.

But then, things started to change. In what Joyce Meyer likes to call a "Suddenly" things started to move again. Weeks after the failed adoption--nearly two months actually--my family received news about a new child, a little boy.

We accepted and today we received our letter of acceptance (meaning the orphanage has agreed to continue the adoption.) And therefore, after accepting the referral, we have been busy with preparations.

Picking a name was one really big thing that needed to be accomplished. Today, we believe we have come to a decision.

Levi.

It's a toss up between that and Jonathan, which I personally love, but so far Levi is the number one choice.

Please pray as we continue down this road, and wait to see where the Lord wants us to go next.


And that I don't do anymore acrobatics on the lawn.

Let's All be Nervous About the New Year Together!

Let's all be nervous together, all of us sitting in our homes tucked away and anxiously watching the clock tick closer and closer to 12:00. Goodbye 2013, hello 2014! 

It's not an unusual thing really, to see how many of us are nervous about the new year. It's actually pretty normal. The new year is an unknown, filled with goods and bads--and we have no clue which side will out weigh the other. It's frighting, exhilarating, daring, and new. It's the new year! 

I have no plans tonight, nothing note worthy or exciting. I'll sit tucked away in my country home watching a movie or two with my family. It suits us just fine, I'm not much of a party goer--so sometimes a relaxing day/night is perfect. 

But there is still the pervading sense that tomorrow the new year begins, and that the slate is wiped clean. For me, it's leaving what has become comfortable, and jumping into something that will either be good or bad. It's a challenge, and a new chance at adventure. And I'm scared of it. 

But 2013 was a wonderful year for me, and I feel blessed. I've learned a lot during it, and while sometimes it took a swift kick to get me to learn my lesson--I never the less learned and moved forward. I feel more comfortable with being me than I did at the start. 

I no longer feel that I have to hide who I am out of fear that others will not accept me--because, after all, if you're not yourself, and you are just projecting a false image of yourself, then the people who like you don't actually like you, but rather the image you have sold them. 

I've also learned that people really don't care a whole heap of a lot about every move you make. Therefore, I shouldn't be worried about what others will think, because most people are busy with their own stories and are concerned about managing their lives. The people who do concern themselves with every move others make aren't the kind of people I want around anyway, so I learned that it's not worth my time to worry about making them happy. 

I've learned so much more over this year, but this was one of the highlights! I've done a lot over this year too, and I've been blessed in amazing ways! :)

I got to be apart of my local theater's production of "The Dixie Swim Club" that was the first big thing that happened in 2013.

Me and my theater friend Taylor! 

I also survived my first semester of college with two A's and a B! That semester also taught me that college isn't the horror story I'd previously thought it was. 

I was a part of my theater's version of the Grand Ole Opry again! Loved being a part of that, though I do regret that there are no pictures to show. :(

I queried agents for the first time about my book, and while none of my letters got me published--I still learned a lot about the publishing world and how to approach an agent. I look forward to trying to use my new found knowledge in the upcoming year!

I had a lot of fun over the summer, but I think the highlight was my trip to Florida! 

Look me! 

We went boating quite a lot! It was one of my favorite things to do during our trip! 

These dolphins were fascinated by our boat, but still remained a respectful distance at all times.

My perch, from which I wrote a lot of my novel!


I also turned 19! One step below the big 2-0 so that was lots of fun.

Yea....not exactly grown up yet am I?

My birthday was beyond amazing, and I'm so grateful to the family and friends who made that possible!

This was night before my birthday--I believe--Jessie spent it with me and we ate lots of Subway and watched "Say Yes to the Dress". Perfect girls night in if you ask me! 

I also developed my interest in photography! I believe the quality of my pictures has grown with time--as seen below. 

The one on the far left is the first time I took Clara's picture--the one at the far right is the most recent time. She's grown so much! She's turning into such a beautiful young woman of God!

I even started doing some pictures for people I knew, which was a huge honor for me! ;) 

I spent a LOT more time with my friends! 

We've grown closer as the year has gone by, and I'm truly grateful for their friendship! 

I also had my first date this year--and while the guy and I didn't stay together, it was still nice to have gone on a date.

My friends and I had a photo accepted into a art magazine, which thrilled us to no end! 

I had my first real job, and enjoyed nearly every minute of it. I worked at a local tourist destination during my fall semester and it was great! I hope to work there again over the summer! 

I made it out of my fall semester with all As and I made the Dean's List for the first time! Yay! Huge blessing there! 

I got an iPod for Christmas, and so now I can terrorize my friends on Instagram! My iPod is my baby right now. :)

Those were just some of my blessings in 2013, and while there was a lot of bad too--I will try to remember the year by the good instead. 

There is also a lot I look forward to in 2014--though I hesitate to say it. 

First off, in the new year, I will be changing my blog name from Just me--which has been it's title since its beginning--to Within Me a Lunatic Sings. This is a big change, but I've been wanting to do this for a while and what better time to make such a big change than at the beginning of the new year, a time when changes are welcomed and exciting! :) But don't worry, I won't be changing my URL, but my blog's actual name will be completely different. 

I look forward to a new year of school, and what new people God will bring into my life. 

On a nerdy note--I look forward to seeing Sherlock, Supernatural, Doctor Who, and The Walking Dead in the new year--I've missed those shows so badly! I also look forward to the first installment of Mockingjay and the final installment in The Hobbit! 

I look forward to all of the writing I hope to accomplish in this year. 

I look forward to turning 20, which is a HUGE milestone when you think about it. My teen years will be gone, and I'll be starting a new part of my life!

There are no New Years resolutions for me, nothing of importance I can think of other than trying to be the best person I can be. 

So whatever your new year brings, I hope it's good and blessed! :) 

Happy New Year, my lovely bloggers! 

Caught Between Boredom and Excitement

It's crazy, to be caught between boredom and excitement. My life's been nothing but busy, and now that I'm out of school and 'relaxing' for the Holidays--I find myself bored most of the time. There are a few times when I'm not so bored, when I'm doing stuff with my family, friends, or sending out a quick post to you lot. Hints why I've been posting so much lately. :( But most of the time I wander about aimlessly, thinking about all the great things that are yet to come.

I'm excited about Christmas--but it's so close now, that's the problem. It's close but not here, and that drives me crazy! Maybe it's because I'm not patient, or maybe it's because I'm really excited about the iPod I may be getting for Christmas. I've been dying for one for a while now--and while I always swore I'd never cave and get one...I will admit now that I have completely caved and I'm really thrilled about getting my hands on one. Only problem is, I have to wait. Tedious days that tick past slowly are absolute torture for me. Just let the Christmas celebration start already! I'm going to go insane!


Then I'm excited about going back to school. I miss the friends I met there, and I'm really eager to start back. I hesitate though, to be excited here because I could have a completely rotten semester. While I hope that won't happen--I still worry. I'm praying hard about it. I'm praying that God will amaze me and make this semester even better than the last.

But in the meantime I have to sit and wait for my school to start back--which means, for me, worrying over this semester will be too much for me to handle or that I will have a really hard time with my fellow classmates and or teachers. I'll admit, I'm a worrier--and God is working on me in that area. I don't like unknowns, I don't handle them well--but I hope to get better. Trusting God is hard for me, I confess.

It's tedious, to say the least, to wait excitedly for things. When you do everything around you becomes less than thrilling and you quickly become bored. It's strange because, before, I was more than content to stay cooped up in my room and busy myself with a few of my own personal projects--but now all I want to do is go places and see things. I want to go cool places with my family and friends, make new friends (choosing wisely), and even have some busy work that moves me towards an ultimate goal of mine! 

But God has me here, and I think he wants me to spend this time with my family--and working on a few things in myself. Sometimes I reason and say "Oh, you're fine right now--but look at all you can't have right now!". Reasoning, refuting God's word because it doesn't make sense to me, is a problem for me and it enables me to create a million and one excuses for not doing what God has called me to do. 

I have to also remember that while there are some pretty cool things that I have to wait for--there are also some REALLY awesome things I have right now! 

Things I Have Now: 

Time to spend with God, and time to grow in Him. (It's a rare time to readjust my priorities and work on a few things in myself.) 

Time with my family, (Holiday times are always special!)

Time to write and work on my book, (I have twenty eight chapters out of forty done! So happy! But I still have a long way to go! I'm making some big changes to the middle of the book--basically dumping what I had and writing new material. 0_0 Giant thing for us writers!)

Time to spend with my really close friends (My friends Jessie and Clara are coming over tomorrow and I am really looking forward to seeing them!)

Time to work on personal projects (Like cleaning out my closet....dun dun DUN!) 

Time to read (this is VITAL to writing...a good author needs to read just as much as they write!) 

Time to celebrate, 

Time to relax (I won't have uninterrupted relaxation time for a while after I start back to school!)

Time to get my health and caffeine intake back on track (slipped up on that these past few days) 

Time to practice my photography! 

Time to reconnect with old friends,

Time to catch up on some of my favorite shows! Just finished "The Office" and, by the by, LOVED IT! Dwight is hilarious and I want to marry a man just like Jim someday! I'm trying to get my brother to watch it now. 

And, also....a few more days before The Doctor regenerates. 

Hot Topic Picks

Well, as I may have mentioned I found a new way to blow my money. Hot Topic, for those of you who were like me and didn't know of its awesomeness, is a clothing/fandom store that has some absolutely amazing stuff! Over this past weekend they had a big sale, and I was able to score some Tees for 5 dollars a piece. Not bad for normally 20 something shirts! :) I got two, a Castiel shirt (as seen above) and a Daryl Dixon shirt (below)

I really love the Cass shirt because it fits really well and is very comfortable. The pic doesn't show it, but the shirt actually has wings on the back! :) It is, I believe, my favorite. 

Of course I adore this shirt as well! I saw it and immediately knew I had to have it! I mean, how much more perfect could it get? 

The shirts are very comfy and fun to wear, and I'm looking forward to getting to show them off!

Then of course I got a Union Jack wristband! Anything Union Jack is for me, hints my room decorations and converse. :) I got this for about five I think...maybe less. Oh well, all the same it is awesome!

I also found something really awesome for my friend Hannah! I think she is going to flip when she sees it, or at least I hope she does. Freak out and be happy, Hannah! I worked hard to find this present and I think you will absolutely adore it!

But that was a big 'happy' for me! I was worried that the order didn't go through and that I would lose the stuff I wanted. :( The site was really over loaded that day (obviously) and it kept saying out order wasn't going through. I'm so relieved that everything arrived safely and fit so perfectly! :D I will definitely be blowing some more money at Hot Topic very soon! Besides, Christmas is coming up and I'm already cruising for some new Tees! I'm thinking Loki this go around--what do you think?


Well, time for the rambling. What all have I been up to today? Well, this week is the last week of school for me, and while this semester has been absolutely amazing and a very good learning experience, I am happy that it is over. Of course, in a few weeks I will miss my school and friends and will be excited to return there. I'm hoping that this coming semester will be even better than this one! :D


There have been goods and bads in this semester, and I was worried that today would be bad. It's been a rough few weeks and so I was concerned that today would end badly. However, after praying that today would at least be good, God blessed me abundantly.

I got to hang out with a really nice girl from my history class (fandom friend!) and I met some of her friends who were really nice! I love it when I meet new people who are pleasant to be around! When you meet really nice people who have so many interesting hobbies and goals in life it's always a good day!

I also got to talk to some really awesome people from my other classes that I hadn't really gotten to speak to very much over the semester! :) I'm sad that classes are coming to a close, but several of them are wanting to keep in touch so that's really nice! :D

Then of course my Hot Topic stuff came in today! Yay! That was my end of the semester reward. I survived and I made good grades! Praise the Lord!

I also found out that two of my finals are going to be REALLY easy! I mean, one of them (English) is just writing a paper over this week and then coming in and just handing it to the teacher. I've already written the paper...so I'm good. :) Praise the Lord there again!

Then Madison, a girl in my English class, offered to give me a ride to my truck after it started raining. It was really sweet of her and she's such a sweet and positive person to be around! :)

I'm just blown away by how much he has blessed me today! All I really wanted was a good day, just a day that wasn't going to be sad--and he gave me so much more than that. I am really very grateful to him, he has given me more than I could have possibly asked for. He has eased the pain and and given us a light.

We are still waiting to hear more about the adoption, but there may be hope. We are still praying, and not giving up on Katie!

Hobbes has still yet to return, but I am still praying. My parents have agreed that if he doesn't come back, I can get a kitten at the end of December. I believe I will either name it Crowley, Crookshanks, or Pabu...still not sure. Yes, all references....going very nerdy now.

There is still a long road, but we are moving forward. :)

Black and White Photos

These are just some experiments, I tried some new lighting and settings to get better effects. Let me know how you like them. Again sorry I haven't been blogging lately. 

Happy First Day of National Novel Writing Month!

Hello, lovely bloggers! Today as you know is the first day of National Novel Writing Month! Yes, finally the blessed month has returned! Now it's time to buckle down and force those stories onto the page! 

Just so you know, I will be posting everyday (or every other day on my school days) for this month. I will do mostly writing posts, just updates on progress. I know, boring but I will try to make it funny. :) If I have a life update I may throw it in there, but to be honest--when I'm on this binge my social life is non-existent. 

I completed NaNoWriMo last year, writing the third installment in my book series. This year I will be revising the first one--and by revising I mean completely rewriting it. Some of you may say that this isn't really completing a novel for NaNoWriMo, so I will explain.

I have decided to completely overhaul the book, nothing will be kept from the original. I've revised the characters, story line, and even the world they live in. Everything has to be re-written from scratch. So that brings me here on the very first day of NaNoWriMo! 

My mood today is excited and hopeful! The excited part comes not only from the anticipation of writing a new book, but also from the large Mocha I am currently consuming! 

Yea, good thing the mug is hiding my face--it's seven in the morning and I stayed up late last night for Halloween. Also I have a goodly supply of sweets---beware! 

So whether or not you are in NaNoWriMo, or whatever your goals are--Happy National Novel Writing Month to all of you! I hope that (to all the writers out there) that you accomplish more than you ever thought possible! 

You know....fun thought to think that somewhere, out there, a masterpiece may be about to be written! :D 

So good luck! And may the odds be ever in your favor! 

My Last Day as an Eighteen Year Old!

It's been a long day; most of it spent on the road. Between lugging around countless pieces of luggage to driving six hours my energy level drained out completely. Yet, despite my sleepy state, I'm still excited because tomorrow is my nineteenth birthday! 

Little ole me is finally turning nineteen this year! It's been a thrilling journey to this point, one with a lot of pitfalls and joys. While I know there will be plenty more highs and lows, I'm looking forward to this next chapter of my life! :D My nineteenth year begins within a few hours!

I continue to tell myself what a wonderful period this part of my life is, and how fortunate I am to have had such a wonderful eighteenth year! I still have a lot of spiritual growing to do, and a lot of learning ahead of me, but I will continue to challenge myself to put my trust in the Lord, for he is the master of all things and the guardian of my soul! 

Everyone around me seems to be growing up so fast! Many of my friends will be either turning nineteen this year, graduating High School, or learning to drive for the first time! Big milestones are being reached in our little group, and it fills me with never ending joy! Seeing my friends and their lives beginning to blossom and grow is a happy time! Although, I will say, the driving part does have everyone a little freaked out! :D

Any who, this past week we have been on a vacation to the beach, and we loved every minute of it! My sister was actually very sad about coming home! :( I have a lot of snapshots I'd like to share, but for now I think I'll just post a few!

Last night, such a beautiful display! 

We went to eat at a yummy seafood restaurant with my grandparents the night before we left. On the way home my siblings and I decided to have some fun! 

Got up early to take a last few pictures of the ocean. I'm already missing it! 

We got back in good ole Georgia heartland after lunch time! I was glad to head home, despite my love of the ocean!  

Us being silly! I love this girl! She is such an amazing person and friend! :D So grateful to have her in my life!

Not long after we got home my amazing friend Jessie (whose mom had been keeping the farm for us!) came over and we had a girl's night in! We laughed, talked and celebrated over a delicious dinner of Subway and a few episodes of 'Say Yes to the Dress!' We generally goofed off and clowned around the entire evening, and had a complete blast! I've really missed seeing her! With her work life being so busy these past few weeks, I hadn't gotten to see her for almost a month! It was good to reconnect and spend an evening having fun! 

Well, that's my last eighteen year old day. It was beautiful, sad, exciting, magical, and scary all at the same time! Thanks so much to my Lord who continues to provide, protect and love me everyday! Thanks so much to everyone who has stuck with me during this past year, and to all of you who have listened to my rants and boring news over and over again! Thanks to everyone who stood, and continue to stand, beside me as I grow into the woman God wants me to be!

Thanks to everyone!

Just a Little Thought: Growing

Have you ever read something you wrote years ago and been shocked at how young you were, and how much growing you have done? That's something that's happened to me lately. 

I've been working hard on my blog these past few days, hints all of the construction and sawdust (sorry, try not to breath any asbestos!), and I began to comb through some of my old blog posts. Many of them were fond memories of my 'younger' days, but with some of them I was really shocked at how...well....immature I was. It's a real shocker, and a boost (depending on how you look at it) to see how far you've come, and to know that there are certain faults you aren't battling as much. Not to say that I'm not still immature --I know that I'm still very young at heart, which is good to a certain extent, I grew up slowly and I'm happy because of it--but what I'm trying to say is, there are certain needless battles that I was fighting with myself that have since resolved themselves. 

I look back at myself then and think, "I was so immature! Great...now I'm embarrassed I ever sounded like that!" But I comfort myself with the knowledge that I've grown a lot since then. I've learned a lot since then, won a lot of battles and experienced a lot of joys. 

This has hit me especially hard lately as I am preparing to go back to college. I began thinking about how young I am and how I still have so much to learn and, needless to say, I began to worry. I thought about how I'm still just a baby and I began praying to God about the issue, saying that I felt unprepared. During this time I decided to redo my blog, and that's when I saw the old posts. 

I read almost all of them, and was shocked at how much I have changed. The way I post, speak to others, and see myself has--I think--matured. It was a real shocker and boost. Funny how God throws these little things into our lives. 

Now, I'm in no way completely mature! I still act goofy and have a lot to learn about the world and my faith. I'm not trying to sound all, "OOOOHHH look how mature I am now! HAHAHA!". I'm still a kid, having fun and living at my own speed while I can and enjoying the world God has given me! But this was a message that I'd like to share.

We all mature at our own rates, that's something that is near and dear to my heart. So many people seem to want to grow up too fast, rushing through their early life so they can 'fit in', and with those of us who decide to take our own chosen paths...things can be rough. My parents were always very supportive of me in this area, they encouraged me to be more mature--but not in the way the world wants, but in the way God wants. I took my steps as God placed them before me and enjoyed it. 

But we all feel immature at sometimes, and we all act immature at times. We all have that friend we get completely crazy with, or that one day when we just want to be silly. That's just us! However, there are those doubts that leak into our minds that tell us that we aren't moving fast enough, or we're not doing things right. We're behind, unprepared, stupid, or silly. We're immature. 

Now, there are times when we feel we have acted immaturely, and know we should have been more responsible or respectful. In those situations, however, we have a pressing on our hearts to do better and we calmly and quietly move forward up the new step God has given us. The doubts I'm talking about are the ones that keep you up at night, worrying if you're 'good enough' to face the world; old enough inside to face what is thrown at you. Will you fit in? Will you be able to handle yourself without being branded as the 'weirdo'? 

Those doubts aren't steps, they're fears. Fears set within your heart to keep you from moving forward. I could never say that trusting that God moves you forward in his own timing is easy, but is comforting to realize that he does. 

God moves us when he wants to move us, and where he wants to move us! Sometimes, in trying to grow up fast we don't really grow up at all. Growing up takes time and we have to learn each lesson that God places before us. Some are painful and some are not, but hard or not we have to learn them. 

But it is comforting to know that you have, indeed, matured. You're not the same person you were five years ago, you've grown! You've learned so much! To me, that's something to celebrate! Knowing that you've moved forward in your journey is exciting! Exhilarating! 

Sometimes I think we get so caught up in trying to conquer our current step that we forget to look back and smile at all of the challenges we've already over come! God intended us to live our lives happily, honoring him and resting in his peace; part of that is celebrating in the path he has placed us on and the great works he has accomplished in our lives!

This is a message I just wanted the share today because I believe it is a powerful one. 

We don't have to grow up in a day, nor do we have to conform to the world's idea of 'normal'. We answer to a different authority; one who loves us very much and who knows what is best for us. God matures us as needed, and while we still need to work with him and the pressings that he places on our hearts, we can rest easy knowing we are in good hands. 

I don't usually share spiritual things, as I believe I am still growing in my Christian walk, but I just wanted to share this little thought with you. :)

Your happy blogger,

Rebecca