Let's All be Nervous About the New Year Together!

Let's all be nervous together, all of us sitting in our homes tucked away and anxiously watching the clock tick closer and closer to 12:00. Goodbye 2013, hello 2014! 

It's not an unusual thing really, to see how many of us are nervous about the new year. It's actually pretty normal. The new year is an unknown, filled with goods and bads--and we have no clue which side will out weigh the other. It's frighting, exhilarating, daring, and new. It's the new year! 

I have no plans tonight, nothing note worthy or exciting. I'll sit tucked away in my country home watching a movie or two with my family. It suits us just fine, I'm not much of a party goer--so sometimes a relaxing day/night is perfect. 

But there is still the pervading sense that tomorrow the new year begins, and that the slate is wiped clean. For me, it's leaving what has become comfortable, and jumping into something that will either be good or bad. It's a challenge, and a new chance at adventure. And I'm scared of it. 

But 2013 was a wonderful year for me, and I feel blessed. I've learned a lot during it, and while sometimes it took a swift kick to get me to learn my lesson--I never the less learned and moved forward. I feel more comfortable with being me than I did at the start. 

I no longer feel that I have to hide who I am out of fear that others will not accept me--because, after all, if you're not yourself, and you are just projecting a false image of yourself, then the people who like you don't actually like you, but rather the image you have sold them. 

I've also learned that people really don't care a whole heap of a lot about every move you make. Therefore, I shouldn't be worried about what others will think, because most people are busy with their own stories and are concerned about managing their lives. The people who do concern themselves with every move others make aren't the kind of people I want around anyway, so I learned that it's not worth my time to worry about making them happy. 

I've learned so much more over this year, but this was one of the highlights! I've done a lot over this year too, and I've been blessed in amazing ways! :)

I got to be apart of my local theater's production of "The Dixie Swim Club" that was the first big thing that happened in 2013.

Me and my theater friend Taylor! 

I also survived my first semester of college with two A's and a B! That semester also taught me that college isn't the horror story I'd previously thought it was. 

I was a part of my theater's version of the Grand Ole Opry again! Loved being a part of that, though I do regret that there are no pictures to show. :(

I queried agents for the first time about my book, and while none of my letters got me published--I still learned a lot about the publishing world and how to approach an agent. I look forward to trying to use my new found knowledge in the upcoming year!

I had a lot of fun over the summer, but I think the highlight was my trip to Florida! 

Look me! 

We went boating quite a lot! It was one of my favorite things to do during our trip! 

These dolphins were fascinated by our boat, but still remained a respectful distance at all times.

My perch, from which I wrote a lot of my novel!


I also turned 19! One step below the big 2-0 so that was lots of fun.

Yea....not exactly grown up yet am I?

My birthday was beyond amazing, and I'm so grateful to the family and friends who made that possible!

This was night before my birthday--I believe--Jessie spent it with me and we ate lots of Subway and watched "Say Yes to the Dress". Perfect girls night in if you ask me! 

I also developed my interest in photography! I believe the quality of my pictures has grown with time--as seen below. 

The one on the far left is the first time I took Clara's picture--the one at the far right is the most recent time. She's grown so much! She's turning into such a beautiful young woman of God!

I even started doing some pictures for people I knew, which was a huge honor for me! ;) 

I spent a LOT more time with my friends! 

We've grown closer as the year has gone by, and I'm truly grateful for their friendship! 

I also had my first date this year--and while the guy and I didn't stay together, it was still nice to have gone on a date.

My friends and I had a photo accepted into a art magazine, which thrilled us to no end! 

I had my first real job, and enjoyed nearly every minute of it. I worked at a local tourist destination during my fall semester and it was great! I hope to work there again over the summer! 

I made it out of my fall semester with all As and I made the Dean's List for the first time! Yay! Huge blessing there! 

I got an iPod for Christmas, and so now I can terrorize my friends on Instagram! My iPod is my baby right now. :)

Those were just some of my blessings in 2013, and while there was a lot of bad too--I will try to remember the year by the good instead. 

There is also a lot I look forward to in 2014--though I hesitate to say it. 

First off, in the new year, I will be changing my blog name from Just me--which has been it's title since its beginning--to Within Me a Lunatic Sings. This is a big change, but I've been wanting to do this for a while and what better time to make such a big change than at the beginning of the new year, a time when changes are welcomed and exciting! :) But don't worry, I won't be changing my URL, but my blog's actual name will be completely different. 

I look forward to a new year of school, and what new people God will bring into my life. 

On a nerdy note--I look forward to seeing Sherlock, Supernatural, Doctor Who, and The Walking Dead in the new year--I've missed those shows so badly! I also look forward to the first installment of Mockingjay and the final installment in The Hobbit! 

I look forward to all of the writing I hope to accomplish in this year. 

I look forward to turning 20, which is a HUGE milestone when you think about it. My teen years will be gone, and I'll be starting a new part of my life!

There are no New Years resolutions for me, nothing of importance I can think of other than trying to be the best person I can be. 

So whatever your new year brings, I hope it's good and blessed! :) 

Happy New Year, my lovely bloggers! 

Caught Between Boredom and Excitement

It's crazy, to be caught between boredom and excitement. My life's been nothing but busy, and now that I'm out of school and 'relaxing' for the Holidays--I find myself bored most of the time. There are a few times when I'm not so bored, when I'm doing stuff with my family, friends, or sending out a quick post to you lot. Hints why I've been posting so much lately. :( But most of the time I wander about aimlessly, thinking about all the great things that are yet to come.

I'm excited about Christmas--but it's so close now, that's the problem. It's close but not here, and that drives me crazy! Maybe it's because I'm not patient, or maybe it's because I'm really excited about the iPod I may be getting for Christmas. I've been dying for one for a while now--and while I always swore I'd never cave and get one...I will admit now that I have completely caved and I'm really thrilled about getting my hands on one. Only problem is, I have to wait. Tedious days that tick past slowly are absolute torture for me. Just let the Christmas celebration start already! I'm going to go insane!


Then I'm excited about going back to school. I miss the friends I met there, and I'm really eager to start back. I hesitate though, to be excited here because I could have a completely rotten semester. While I hope that won't happen--I still worry. I'm praying hard about it. I'm praying that God will amaze me and make this semester even better than the last.

But in the meantime I have to sit and wait for my school to start back--which means, for me, worrying over this semester will be too much for me to handle or that I will have a really hard time with my fellow classmates and or teachers. I'll admit, I'm a worrier--and God is working on me in that area. I don't like unknowns, I don't handle them well--but I hope to get better. Trusting God is hard for me, I confess.

It's tedious, to say the least, to wait excitedly for things. When you do everything around you becomes less than thrilling and you quickly become bored. It's strange because, before, I was more than content to stay cooped up in my room and busy myself with a few of my own personal projects--but now all I want to do is go places and see things. I want to go cool places with my family and friends, make new friends (choosing wisely), and even have some busy work that moves me towards an ultimate goal of mine! 

But God has me here, and I think he wants me to spend this time with my family--and working on a few things in myself. Sometimes I reason and say "Oh, you're fine right now--but look at all you can't have right now!". Reasoning, refuting God's word because it doesn't make sense to me, is a problem for me and it enables me to create a million and one excuses for not doing what God has called me to do. 

I have to also remember that while there are some pretty cool things that I have to wait for--there are also some REALLY awesome things I have right now! 

Things I Have Now: 

Time to spend with God, and time to grow in Him. (It's a rare time to readjust my priorities and work on a few things in myself.) 

Time with my family, (Holiday times are always special!)

Time to write and work on my book, (I have twenty eight chapters out of forty done! So happy! But I still have a long way to go! I'm making some big changes to the middle of the book--basically dumping what I had and writing new material. 0_0 Giant thing for us writers!)

Time to spend with my really close friends (My friends Jessie and Clara are coming over tomorrow and I am really looking forward to seeing them!)

Time to work on personal projects (Like cleaning out my closet....dun dun DUN!) 

Time to read (this is VITAL to writing...a good author needs to read just as much as they write!) 

Time to celebrate, 

Time to relax (I won't have uninterrupted relaxation time for a while after I start back to school!)

Time to get my health and caffeine intake back on track (slipped up on that these past few days) 

Time to practice my photography! 

Time to reconnect with old friends,

Time to catch up on some of my favorite shows! Just finished "The Office" and, by the by, LOVED IT! Dwight is hilarious and I want to marry a man just like Jim someday! I'm trying to get my brother to watch it now. 

And, also....a few more days before The Doctor regenerates. 

Christmas Tunes, And Yes I Know I Have Weird Taste in Music!

Christmas is right around the bend, so I thought I might share a few of my favorite Christmas songs! Warning, I have weird taste in music. 

Love this song! 

I grew up with The Kingston Trio's songs, my mom always loved them. 

The Civil Wars are a personal favorite, and so is "O Come O Come Emmanuel" 

Another one of my childhood songs. 

This was a must, every single Christmas! We always had this playing so it is a very BIG Christmas memory for me. 

Well, I don't know when I'll talk to you guys again, but if I don't before Christmas, I hope you all have a happy holiday! :D 

Thank Heavens, I Got my Hair Cut! :D

Before and after--that is my surprised face. 

Yes, finally I got my hair chopped off. I got about three inches chopped off, and I am very happy! Having thick hair is a real problem when it gets long because it actually physically pains you! Seriously, try pulling thick hair into a pony tail--it's basically the same as having a weight tied to the back of your skull. Unpleasant and headache inspiring. 

But now it's lopped off and I am so happy! Now maybe I can speed up my morning routine! 

However, I didn't just come to talk about my new haircut. We've also had some other interesting news. There was a possum on our back porch this evening! Yes, a little marsupial decided to drop in for a visit while we had company over. No pictures--sorry, I'm falling down on my job. This little guy has been raiding our cat food for several days now, and unlike other possums he was actually rather cute. Though, I'm sure my mother and her friend Mrs. Tamera would disagree heartily. :) He's run off now, and hopefully he won't be back any time soon, because while I may think the possum is cute--I'm pretty sure the cats won't feel the same way. 

P.S: I know possums are disgusting little things, trust me--I'm just not really that terrified of one. I mean, I've seen them all my life, so....not really a big deal. 

So...any other news? A lot, but it's bits and pieces. Christmas is coming at a pace so my family has been really busy. I'm still trying to find someone to go to Stone Mountain with me--my parents prefer I go with an adult. It looks now like we may go as a family which would be loads of fun! :) 

And, now I've got to go make ginger bread houses. So until next time! 

Well, the Tree's Up

Look! My tree has two shadows! Vashta Nerada! RUN! No time to explain just run and jump in the phone box! 

Haha, random side note there. But yep, the tree is up now and my room has been mildly decorated. I'm not a really BIG decorator--I like my room the way it is, plain and simple.However, I can't be in the Christmas season without a few decorations around and a couple of my favorite carols on the radio. 

So, today, how are things going? Well, I manged to climb into the attic and get out again without becoming that character at the beginning of every Supernatural episode. :) Comforting and disappointing all at the same time--I mean, I really do want a Dean for Christmas--a Dean or a Castiel, both are good.

Also, it might not have been a good time to go in there for another reason. Last night I re-watched DW "Silence in the Library"....and considering the fact that our attic light currently doesn't work and there are millions of books in there....it was probably not a wise decision on my part. But again, I made it out alive...will I never run into Dean or the Doctor? Seriously people.

But Christmas is starting to set in here. Yay! I'm already perfecting my Christmas list and getting the last of my shopping done. I believe next weekend I will wrap presents to put under my little tree. I always wait a while before doing that so the wrapping doesn't get messed up.

I've got most of my shopping done, but I still have to buy Clara her present. :) I really love shopping for my friends, it's so much fun! With most of my family they know exactly what they want--but with friends you can just go and try to find something you think they will like. We get to surprise each other! Last year, Hannah bought my a Hobbit calender that I completely freaked out over! Loved that present so much! This year I've gotten, her and Jessie presents I think they will really like! I know exactly what I'm getting Clara, I just have to find the time to pick it up! :)

This is my deranged nutcracker--he eats souls.

I am still thinking about doing that post about dating--maybe it would be interesting. I dunno, still thinking it over.

But yea, this post is going to be a little shorter than normal as I am tired from dodging death in the attic. So until my next death defying adventure--which shall surely come sometime soon.

Thanksgiving's Today, but They Put my Childhood Netflix

No, I don't normally wear red lipstick--it was just for fun. And look! My Batman shirt! :) I love this shirt SO freaking much! 

Well today is, of course, my family's Thanksgiving--and yesterday was cooking and today we have to clean up after cooking before serving dinner for a thundering hoard tonight. 

You could say that today is going to be another busy day--but during my lunch break I discovered something most peculiar. They put my childhood on Netflix. Two of the Disney movies I watched religiously as a child have recently been added to Netflix. Robin Hood and The Sword in the Stone. Some people may say these weren't their best movies, but as a kid I loved them. They were adventure movies--and I loved them. So when I saw them on the Watch Instantly Que I was over joyed, and I started with The Sword in the Stone (which I am currently watching). How am I supposed to get anything done? And don't say 'Just turn off Netflix', because that's just not going to happen. Is it normal to check Netflix more often than Facebook? Hmm?

I was a strange little child I suppose, the Disney Princesses I most admired and wanted to be like were Pocahontas and Mulan. I loved Belle as well, but I watched Pocahontas and Mulan a lot more. As for my idea of a Disney Prince--Robin Hood was ideal. 

I read the stories of Robin Hood and would watch nearly any Robin Hood movies that I could find. More of an adventurous kid you might say. 

I was never very dainty--I was more of a Tom-Boy. Instead of my mother fussing because I was trying to wear makeup too early, she was fussing because I would sit down at the dinner table with leaves in my hair and mud on my face. She'd worry over the blood all over my legs from when I ran through a briar patch in shorts. I did love dolls, but usually I'd make my Polly-Pockets wage war on my brother's Lego towns, or I'd steal his G.I. Joe's and have them go on top secret missions. I was a complete boy really--and that might have been why all of the other girls my age thought I was a freak. As James can attest, we spent hours playing Star Wars and just plain War in the woods, or playing football on our front lawns. 

I'd go out and hike, ride my bike, play with my brother, roll around in the yard with the dog, climb a tree, or just take off running somewhere. 

I never wore 'fashion' clothes, I wore what was practical and comfortable. A nice T-shirt, jeans, and boots or sneakers. I have never really worn jewelry until recently, and when I did it was always pretty sturdy because I could destroy frilly stuff pretty quickly. Still don't wear rings though--too easy to get caught on something and I'm not that keen on getting my finger ripped off. Hey--it's a farm in the South--it happens. 0_0

I didn't watch Hannah Montana, I didn't want to dress like her or want to be blonde--I wanted to be me. Though, to be fair I was more interested in being a Jedi or Wizard (not that I advertised that fact, because Hogwarts said that Muggles needed to be kept in the dark about the school.). I was happy, I got to meet amazing people and enjoy the beautiful childhood God gave me. I wasn't concerned with if a boy liked me when I was 12. In fact I thought boys were great playmates and didn't really see them as 'boyfriends'. I knew I was too young for that, and I just wanted to hang out with them as a friend. 

Also, unlike girls, guys only cared if I could throw a baseball or if I could run fast--whether I was pretty or popular didn't matter to them. I have actually known more guys than girls who genuinely liked me for me. 

I always acted like a lady around them--understand--I didn't belch in front of them or anything like that. I just liked being around them and I liked a lot of things guys liked anyway. My friend Jessie laughed and told me a few weeks ago that when I have to go to a movie with my boyfriend there would be no arguing over what movie to watch--I'd always pick the dude movie. It's true--I've had more arguments with my friends who are girls over what to watch than with any guy I've ever been to a movie with. Save when there is a Disney movie....then us girls are all in agreement and we sing and dance around the living room like mental patients. Beautiful friendships! 

This may also be why my brother and I are so close. We are in perfect agreement (usually) about the stuff we like. Growing up he was my main playmate, and we were thick as thieves. He was always the good kid, though, and if he got in trouble you could usually bet that I was involved. Now it's about 50/50. :) But yea, we like all of the same stuff, save for Fandom things--he's still learning about that. 

Now I can be girly--I have that side of me--but I still have a lot of the Tom-Boy in me, and I just want to find a healthy balance between the two. Because, while being girly has a lot of benefits--being a Tom-Boy is more useful for me as a farm girl. :)

I believe firmly in acting like a lady and presenting well, but I also believe that I can't be afraid to get a little dirty. I'm more of an adventurous personality, and I think that, someday, I'd like a boyfriend who would be a little adventurous too. Seriously, guys who are 'outdoorsy' are very attractive to me. 

Haha, he'll also have to be used to my frequent fangirling! Could you find it endearing? That'd be great, boyfriend. :) Of course, if you can freak out with me over something like The Walking Dead or Supernatural or a movie--something--you'd be, hands down, the best boyfriend ever!  Oh and possibly calm me down after the death of a fictional character. Heheheh! 

What did I originally start off talking about again?  Oh yea, Netflix and my family Thanksgiving. Okay, maybe this post turned into a ramble--oh well, I do that. Yes, it's actually this bad in real life too--just as any of my friends or family members. They'll tell you. 

But there, again, is my little ramble that probably should have ended several paragraphs ago. Oh well, it's a blog where I record my thoughts--I suppose this is the correct way to use it. Dunno. 

Now I'm off to compulsively overeat, yep--didn't do that on the actual Thanksgiving given the fact that I was still about half human half Walker--but now HAHAHAHA! I'm back to my usual talkative/hungry self and I want pie! 

Pie? 

PIE!

PIE IS ALL THAT MATTERS! 

So What Have I Done Today?

Hmmm, let's see, besides being severely dehydrated and tired---the very fact that I didn't just roll back over in bed and hide under the covers until the fever eventually made me a walker--speaks volumes. 

So what did I do today? 

I went to the store, yes, it was needed so it had to be done. 

I wrote five chapters of my book. I'm back on it now. :) That's a big plus. Praise the Lord! :D 

I sat on my butt and watched Supernatural and Doctor Who--yea, that was yesterday and today. Nothing like having a fever and waking up believing you are trapped in the Tardis. I'm NOT joking here, I mean, my room looked like the Tardis. I had also just watched The Black Spot, so I was waiting on the siren to come and take me to the sick bay. 

My favorite episode of ALL time has to be "Vincent and the Doctor". I cried SO freaking hard during that one. Vincent has to be one of the best people they've intertwined into that show. Loved it, and that episode really redeemed the show for me. I hated--and I am under using the word so much--"Let's Kill Hitler". I hated that episode on so many levels. Loathed it with every fiber of my being. For the sake of internet etiquette do NOT ask me why. 

As for Supernatural, I'm still watching and loving it. Dean Winchester is one of my favorites. His internal battle and character development really is one of the highlights about this show. He's a very fascinating character, and he really gets you invested in the show. You become attached to these characters, you know, and you want to see them to the end of their journey. I'm not saying this show doesn't get really weird sometimes, but hey, I survived Doctor Who--so I can pretty much weather nearly any weirdness. Right? 

Almost. There will always be an exception. I actually pause the episode here and just put my hand over my face. It took a moment to process, and for those of you who haven't seen this episode--trust me, it takes a while to process the awkwardness. 

I watched newest The Walking Dead episode. 0_0 The Governor OH MY GOSH! 

Oh, I knew he was coming back. Trust me, but these past few episodes oh my goodness! How much does it take to kill this guy? I mean, he is pretty hard core. I haven't really seen this hardcore since Merle....man I miss Merle. :'( Anyone else with me on this one?

He is the ultimate version of "Every villain is a hero in his own mind." (Tom Hiddleston by the way...can I get some Hiddles love here?). I mean, he is a very complex character with a LOT of crazy going on. I mean, just when you think you've gotten to the bottom of his crazy he's got a crazy underground, zombie prison basement! I mean seriously, dude? How many levels of nutso do you have? :)

I also bought and watched the entire first season of The Legend of Korra! 

Don't judge. The last time I was sick I watched the all of Aang The Last Airbender and loved it. The Legend of Korra was the natural next step. I love both shows and I really loved the new tone that The Legend of Korra brought to the Avatar series. It's much darker and a bit more mature than the first one. I miss some of the more humorous aspects from the first one, but I believe in order to keep the gritty feel, TLoK had to remove the more 'kiddish' elements. Though, I will confess, Aang had me in stitches. 

My favorite character is Asami Soto. She is so amazing! 

I love how she is such a strong and independent personality. She's kind, compassionate, smart, brave, and a quick thinker under pressure. If anything I like her better than I like Korra. She's had some real struggles in her life, some times much more so than Korra, and each time she has shouldered the load with incredible grace. Asami Soto is my favorite, hands down. 

I also got some online Christmas shopping done. :D My friend Hannah will be pleased with her present! I always love it when I buy a present for a friend that I think they will really love! :D I will not tell you what I got her, because she still reads my blog. Sorry, no hints, Hannah! 

What else did I do today?

Well, I thought of some really good stuff to do but I lacked sufficient energy to do them. Story of my life, but I'm pretty sure that today it had something to do with yesterdays vomiting. Thanks for the prayers and get wells there guys, it means a lot to me! ;) 

I decorated my blog for Christmas, yes, I know....I said I wouldn't do it until after Christmas. But I didn't want to wait any longer. As for my room, however, I'm still wanting to hold off there. I don't really want to share my abode with a tree yet. Yea, a big dusty tree that my cat (C.C.--the cat I'm pretty sure I can't throw holy water on.) likes to climb and knock over. 

But hey, everyone can use a little Christmas cheer can't they? It was fun, but I'm still not ready to listen to Christmas music yet. Yep, I'm to busy listening to Imagine Dragons. Love them, they've been my music obsession for about a year now. :) My brother has even started listening to them. Haha! I have corrupted another mind! :D He's also watching Supernatural and Sherlock now! Hehehehehehe, all that's left is Doctor Who and he'll be SuperWhoLocked and be completely insane like the rest of us! 

There has been very little productivity here in these past few days, but I've been sick and it's been a tough week. I'm just grateful I haven't turned into a walker yet. Again, the strength required to fight that off is highly underestimated. 

But I have loving friends and a loving family--duly noted by the fact that they haven't used my illness as an opportunity to kill me. Of course, that may have been because they were too afraid to get near me--the threat of me vomiting was quite high after all. 

Mainly they've just been like,

Lord love them. 

But yea, it hasn't been a really interesting day, but there it is. I'm just trying to be thankful for all that I've been given and all that I still have with me. :) God is good!

So Happy Thanksgiving to all of my lovely followers, I hope you all have a wonderful day. :) And no matter what your traditions may be, I hope you have a love filled holiday. :)