Let's All be Nervous About the New Year Together!

Let's all be nervous together, all of us sitting in our homes tucked away and anxiously watching the clock tick closer and closer to 12:00. Goodbye 2013, hello 2014! 

It's not an unusual thing really, to see how many of us are nervous about the new year. It's actually pretty normal. The new year is an unknown, filled with goods and bads--and we have no clue which side will out weigh the other. It's frighting, exhilarating, daring, and new. It's the new year! 

I have no plans tonight, nothing note worthy or exciting. I'll sit tucked away in my country home watching a movie or two with my family. It suits us just fine, I'm not much of a party goer--so sometimes a relaxing day/night is perfect. 

But there is still the pervading sense that tomorrow the new year begins, and that the slate is wiped clean. For me, it's leaving what has become comfortable, and jumping into something that will either be good or bad. It's a challenge, and a new chance at adventure. And I'm scared of it. 

But 2013 was a wonderful year for me, and I feel blessed. I've learned a lot during it, and while sometimes it took a swift kick to get me to learn my lesson--I never the less learned and moved forward. I feel more comfortable with being me than I did at the start. 

I no longer feel that I have to hide who I am out of fear that others will not accept me--because, after all, if you're not yourself, and you are just projecting a false image of yourself, then the people who like you don't actually like you, but rather the image you have sold them. 

I've also learned that people really don't care a whole heap of a lot about every move you make. Therefore, I shouldn't be worried about what others will think, because most people are busy with their own stories and are concerned about managing their lives. The people who do concern themselves with every move others make aren't the kind of people I want around anyway, so I learned that it's not worth my time to worry about making them happy. 

I've learned so much more over this year, but this was one of the highlights! I've done a lot over this year too, and I've been blessed in amazing ways! :)

I got to be apart of my local theater's production of "The Dixie Swim Club" that was the first big thing that happened in 2013.

Me and my theater friend Taylor! 

I also survived my first semester of college with two A's and a B! That semester also taught me that college isn't the horror story I'd previously thought it was. 

I was a part of my theater's version of the Grand Ole Opry again! Loved being a part of that, though I do regret that there are no pictures to show. :(

I queried agents for the first time about my book, and while none of my letters got me published--I still learned a lot about the publishing world and how to approach an agent. I look forward to trying to use my new found knowledge in the upcoming year!

I had a lot of fun over the summer, but I think the highlight was my trip to Florida! 

Look me! 

We went boating quite a lot! It was one of my favorite things to do during our trip! 

These dolphins were fascinated by our boat, but still remained a respectful distance at all times.

My perch, from which I wrote a lot of my novel!


I also turned 19! One step below the big 2-0 so that was lots of fun.

Yea....not exactly grown up yet am I?

My birthday was beyond amazing, and I'm so grateful to the family and friends who made that possible!

This was night before my birthday--I believe--Jessie spent it with me and we ate lots of Subway and watched "Say Yes to the Dress". Perfect girls night in if you ask me! 

I also developed my interest in photography! I believe the quality of my pictures has grown with time--as seen below. 

The one on the far left is the first time I took Clara's picture--the one at the far right is the most recent time. She's grown so much! She's turning into such a beautiful young woman of God!

I even started doing some pictures for people I knew, which was a huge honor for me! ;) 

I spent a LOT more time with my friends! 

We've grown closer as the year has gone by, and I'm truly grateful for their friendship! 

I also had my first date this year--and while the guy and I didn't stay together, it was still nice to have gone on a date.

My friends and I had a photo accepted into a art magazine, which thrilled us to no end! 

I had my first real job, and enjoyed nearly every minute of it. I worked at a local tourist destination during my fall semester and it was great! I hope to work there again over the summer! 

I made it out of my fall semester with all As and I made the Dean's List for the first time! Yay! Huge blessing there! 

I got an iPod for Christmas, and so now I can terrorize my friends on Instagram! My iPod is my baby right now. :)

Those were just some of my blessings in 2013, and while there was a lot of bad too--I will try to remember the year by the good instead. 

There is also a lot I look forward to in 2014--though I hesitate to say it. 

First off, in the new year, I will be changing my blog name from Just me--which has been it's title since its beginning--to Within Me a Lunatic Sings. This is a big change, but I've been wanting to do this for a while and what better time to make such a big change than at the beginning of the new year, a time when changes are welcomed and exciting! :) But don't worry, I won't be changing my URL, but my blog's actual name will be completely different. 

I look forward to a new year of school, and what new people God will bring into my life. 

On a nerdy note--I look forward to seeing Sherlock, Supernatural, Doctor Who, and The Walking Dead in the new year--I've missed those shows so badly! I also look forward to the first installment of Mockingjay and the final installment in The Hobbit! 

I look forward to all of the writing I hope to accomplish in this year. 

I look forward to turning 20, which is a HUGE milestone when you think about it. My teen years will be gone, and I'll be starting a new part of my life!

There are no New Years resolutions for me, nothing of importance I can think of other than trying to be the best person I can be. 

So whatever your new year brings, I hope it's good and blessed! :) 

Happy New Year, my lovely bloggers! 

Merry Christmas!

Hello, everyone! :D Merry Christmas! How has you holiday been? Ours was very busy, but even that is an understatement.


It all started yesterday--which was eventful in more ways than one. You see, I injured myself all day long. The first thing I did was ram my small toe into an eight pound dumbbell--behind which sat another eight pound, two five pound weights, and then two three pound weights. My toe is now a nasty shade of maroon--no pictures will be forthcoming. So, limping through the remainder of my day--I discovered that Shark Week had arrived, which rendered me practically useless even with the added pain killers and caffeine. Seriously...can't Mother Nature just text me instead? :( Later in he evening I burned my hand on our fireplace. I decided after that, that maybe I should avoid all dangerous activities--like being awake.

We had endless cleaning and cooking before our Christmas Eve dinner with our family friends. My dear friend Jessie was even there with her mother, Mrs. Stacie. It was a great night! We exchanged Christmas gifts and I discovered that my lovely friend had made me a scarf! I absolutely love it and I can't wait to wear it out in public! :D I will post a picture as soon as I find and outfit that compliments it! :D Mrs. Stacie also gave me a jewelry box with my aunt's favorite Bible verse on it. Haha, I will have to keep her from stealing that! ;)

I gave her an infinity scarf, a pair of sunglasses, and some Bath and Body Works stuff! :D No really good pictures of last night, sadly. When you are running like a chicken with it's head cut off you don't really have time for pictures. :( Today we did get some good pictures though. I was exhausted though, I woke up at what I thought was 5:30--but it was actually 4:30 because my little desk clock can't be set back. It did give me a chance to shower and clean up early though. :)

After having Christmas morning breakfast with my grandparents and family friend Mrs. Cynthia, we opened presents to each other. I gave my mom an MP3 player with my brother, I gave my dad a gift card to one of his favorite stores, my sister a jewelry making kit, and I gave my brother an Imagine Dragon's CD. :) In return, my brother gave me the first season of Gomer Pyle USMC, and my sister gave me "Mrs. Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children"--a book that I have been wanting to read for quite some time. So far it's really good and very intriguing. I'm nearly halfway through it already! 0_0 I must pace myself because I will need a book to take to college with me this semester.


I have a distinct feeling, however, that this book will get a bit scary before too much longer. Now I really wish I had gotten that Castiel I asked for, for Christmas.

After Christmas breakfast we went to my grandparents house, where all the 'adults' play a Dirty Santa game--where basically everyone brings a gift and you all steal gifts from each other. I'm not a big fan, but this year I did manage to snag a Bath and Body Works kit that was even in my scent! :D Very happy about that.

After Christmas there it was off to my aunt's house (my mom's sister) where we had some light snacks before opening even more presents! There I got a pair of black, chandelier earrings, a aqua infinity scarf, and an iTunes gift card. :) The gift card was great, considering the fact that today I got my very first iPod!

My sweet and very generous parents got me the iPod 5 for Christmas this year, and I am SO excited! They also gave me a gift card to Radio Shack so I can get a case for it--which it desperately needs because I don't want ANYTHING to happen to my new baby. I believe I'll try to hit the store in the next few days, as soon as the craziness wears down.

I also got "The Fault in Our Stars", more Bath and Body Works goodies, a Union Jack/British mug set (tea included), a sketch book and some beautiful new colored pencils. The movie "Hotel Transylvania", aloe socks, a wide assortment of candy, and a sweater with a really cute owl on it. Over all it was a very generous and blessed Christmas! :D


But now that Christmas is over, it's time to focus on going back to school. Books have to be ordered, and new supplies bought. The truck's due for a good wash and vacuum (I basically live out of it during the semester). One good thing is that I have already gotten my official paperwork in order (months ago) so I don't have that stress on me or my mother.

I've excited to go back to school, but I'm also nervous. But we've gone over this song and dance a million times already haven't we? So let's break out of the loop for a bit. School is coming--no more shall be said until the actual first day! After that I'm probably not going to shut up, either because I'm complaining or I'm a little too eager to tell any and all good news I have.



But I hope that everyone has had a wonderful Christmas, and that you have all been blessed! :) Now it's onto the New Year, and I hope that God blesses every one of you!

Merry Christmas, Lovely Bloggers! :D

Thank Heavens, I Got my Hair Cut! :D

Before and after--that is my surprised face. 

Yes, finally I got my hair chopped off. I got about three inches chopped off, and I am very happy! Having thick hair is a real problem when it gets long because it actually physically pains you! Seriously, try pulling thick hair into a pony tail--it's basically the same as having a weight tied to the back of your skull. Unpleasant and headache inspiring. 

But now it's lopped off and I am so happy! Now maybe I can speed up my morning routine! 

However, I didn't just come to talk about my new haircut. We've also had some other interesting news. There was a possum on our back porch this evening! Yes, a little marsupial decided to drop in for a visit while we had company over. No pictures--sorry, I'm falling down on my job. This little guy has been raiding our cat food for several days now, and unlike other possums he was actually rather cute. Though, I'm sure my mother and her friend Mrs. Tamera would disagree heartily. :) He's run off now, and hopefully he won't be back any time soon, because while I may think the possum is cute--I'm pretty sure the cats won't feel the same way. 

P.S: I know possums are disgusting little things, trust me--I'm just not really that terrified of one. I mean, I've seen them all my life, so....not really a big deal. 

So...any other news? A lot, but it's bits and pieces. Christmas is coming at a pace so my family has been really busy. I'm still trying to find someone to go to Stone Mountain with me--my parents prefer I go with an adult. It looks now like we may go as a family which would be loads of fun! :) 

And, now I've got to go make ginger bread houses. So until next time! 

Why I'm Tempted to Decorate for Christmas

I'm making this post because so many of my friends and family have already started their Christmas season. I'm tempted to go ahead with the Christmas spirit....very tempted in fact. There is nothing I love more than the soft glow of Christmas lights and the smell of peppermint tea and hot chocolate. Christmas music playing over the radio while my blog has little snow flakes cascading down the screen (if I can't have snow in real life I must make substitutes). However, I get tired of it. 

Yes, I get tired of Christmas. Very tired in fact. Christmas music, hot chocolate, and especially Christmas decorations get on my nerves after about the first two weeks. That's why I usually wait until two weeks before Christmas to get into the spirit. 

All the same though, I have a bunch of really neat ideas I want to try out this year in my decorating! Also, the girls and I are planning a Christmas photo shoot! But, I must wait until it's actually Christmas time. I don't really want fall to end, this has been one of the best falls of my life--so I really don't want it to be over. Winter's tone has yet to be revealed to me. 

So now I'm stuck in that awkward period where there's really nothing to do. There's nothing to do for Thanksgiving, and I won't let myself give into my Christmas urge just yet. So what do I do? :( Other than NaNoWrMo not much. Schools been really heavy as of late, so I've been busy with that. I think I did well on my science test though, so that's a relief!

 Praise the Lord for that! :D 

My story is going well, I've created a new concept for the book, so I'm taking some time to construct that. :) 

I do not own this image

I'm also working on developing Johanna's viewpoint/narration. Johanna is a very cynical, suspicious, dangerous, and logical young woman. However, she is also 18, so what I'm trying to decide is whether or not she'd use a lot of slang in her speak and how vulnerable I need to make her. I believe she would, but I'm still undecided on how much slang I will use. With vulnerability, I want to present her as strong and stable, but at the same time susceptible to the pains that come with youth.

I do not own this image 

I start Johanna out in the books as very cold and logical, but as time progresses she comes to become more 'human' and less robot. This is primarily due to Carrick's influence on her and how he helps her to grow in her humanity and compassion. He doesn't carry her, but he helps her to see that everything isn't black and white. It's a big character growth for her, however in Book Three this is threatened....but I won't go into why.


Any-who, it's been a busy plotting day. I've actually made a full timeline of how the evil government in the book came into being. I'm also working on the biography of a main character in the series.

I do not own this image

I write biographies of many of my characters so I can fully understand where they are coming from. I believe it helps me to give them more original voices and really makes them stick out a little more. I don't go into everyone's back story, because that would get old really fast--but I do use their stories to influence their decisions later. This woman ^ has a really tragic/interesting story. I'm looking forward to writing her again in books two and three! 

Wow, how did this post go from Christmas to writing? Man, this is happening all the time now. 0_0 Okay, back to winter.

I'm looking forward to several things this winter, one of them being (of course) The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

I am royally freaking out over this movie! I'm just so excited! I won't spill a lot of the things I'm looking forward to seeing/not looking forward to seeing for the sake of spoilers. 

I'm, of course, looking forward to Christmas, Christmas break, and some of the holiday fun that my family and I have. 

I've even made my Christmas list for this year. Yes, I still do this....come on, it's presents! 

An IPod, yea, I'm giving into the urge. I want an IPod SO badly!

A Walking Dead Hoodie from Her Universe 

"The Fault In Our Stars" by John Greene 

"Allegiant" By Veronica Roth 

Supernatural Fandom stuff. Anything really, necklaces, bracelets, shirts...anything just so long as it's Supernatural! 

That's pretty much it as of now, and that's a lot seeing how I want an IPod! 0_0 

Well, that's about all I've got to spit out right now. I've got to go to sleep now and get up early to spend more time on the book. Yep, everything is about the book now. But believe it or not, I'm finding it hard to focus. It's been so long since writing was my main priority, it's hard to get back into gear, but I'm coping! :) 

However, at the moment I'm mad because Carrick's not doing what I want him to do. Seriously dude! I made you! I brought you into this world and I'll take you out! 

Seriously, my writing mood has been shifting so much lately. One minute I'm happy, but then things go sour...mainly over Carrick. 

I start out good

Then something happens

And I look at my old work

And I realize

That while I may have thought I was pretty clever at some point

The truth is I'm screwed up. 

Oh well, see you next time! 

Lovers

Writers are dangerous creatures....we can kill anyone we want without penalty and torture people beyond recognition. We are creators and destroyers of worlds. 

And all of it comes with the single flick of a pen. 

So yes, writing is going well. 

I've been trying to keep up with my writing as well as I can with this busy weekend. Friday it was a spend the night, Saturday it was work and today is school work. Tomorrow will be friends again, and Tuesday is class. 0_0 It's almost insane to say that on top of everything else that's going on in my life--that I'm trying to write a novel. It's completely deranged, but there again so am I. It fits well I suppose. 

Today's current 'thought' is on my characters. Primarily the love interests. For those of you that don't know--the two love interests of my main character Johanna are Alan and Wolfe 

I made the collage, but I don't own the pictures. All credit to their respective owners. 

While my story isn't about the romance, there is a small romantic element to it...but only marginally. I'm not big into love stories, and since this is all about war--I try to make their story more...gritty. 

Okay, first love interest is Alan. 

He's more of the secretive loner, but unlike most 'loner lovers', Alan is a very compassionate and caring person. He's protective, that's one of his biggest aspects. However, as the story progresses he has to come to grips with the fact that he can't protect the people he really cares for. He also has a dark secret that he never wants to come to light, and while he knows what he did was for the best of his family--he still regrets the fact that he was pushed down to that level.

Alan is a bit aloof and has trouble accepting help. His strength is quiet; he doesn't make a very big deal out of being strong in difficult situations. Alan is Johanna's rock really, and his calm demeanor soothes her in the chaos. She doesn't rely on him exclusively for strength, but he does help her. Basically, Alan is a strong man who can handle a strong woman. Their relationship is much more evenly divided and both draw stability from the other. 

Alan is the 'good guy' in this story. I hate books where the girl is primarily attracted to the male lead because of how attractive he is, or 'cool' he seems. Most male leads are jerks, and that's a dangerous image to sell to young girls. Telling them that a 'bad boy' isn't something they should be wary of is very VERY dangerous! Here's a little tip--bad boys are just that--they are bad. DON'T get involved with them. 

The second love interest is Wolfe, and he's more of the "bad guy".

Wolfe is arrogant, self absorbed, yet ferociously loyal. 

Wolfe comes from a difficult situation, and carries a lot of anger around in him. He's the polar opposite of Alan in that while Alan is burdened by guilt--Wolfe is burdened with hate. Wolfe's isn't dangerous, but he does have some issues. So a question you may be asking is why would I put a 'bad boy' in the book if I'm so opposed to romanticizing the bad guy image? Well, that's just it...to show it's no good. Wolfe is a troubled individual, and Johanna does become involved with him as a friend to start with. However, their relationship crumbles as Wolfe becomes more and more engrossed in his anger. 

There are good points to Wolfe, one of them being that he is very loyal. Wolfe isn't really the betraying type. He's a bit self absorbed and cocky, but he's not a traitor. He's also a protector, but not ins the same way Alan is. Wolfe is more of a clumsy protector, he wants very much to keep the people he cares about safe--but his own selfishness gets in the way a lot. 

Wolfe's journey is one of redemption. His struggle is with his own selfishness, and while he does pull himself away--Johanna does NOT carry him through it. Wolfe changes yes, but not completely. He's a complex character with a lot of major flaws, which ultimately leads Johanna away from him. 

The two are polar opposites, even though they come from similar situations. Alan had a difficult past, but has chosen to not let it turn him into a monster. He fights against it. Wolfe has let his past take over, and he has directed all his anger at others. Johanna's relationship with Alan is healthy, and her's with Wolfe is unhealthy.

I've recently really started focusing on the details of these relationships, and it was a really big decision for me. Since I knew that both men needed to be different, but at the same time still have some common element that attracted Johanna to them--I decided to make on relationship good and the other not so much. I want to show that a good man, even though he may not be the 'coolest' of the two is always the better choice.

I also wanted to dispel this. 

I don't claim to be a great orator of the way love should be, but I do believe that selling the bad boy image to young girls is dangerous. So I don't want to do that with my writing. Again, I'm no great lover...as you all know...when it comes to love I'm just sitting in my corner like this: 

Haha, see y'all next time! 

There Was Fire: A Continuation of Yesterday's Post

Sorry to put an end to your curiosity...but by fire I mean we had a campfire...not that our house, car, or dog was one fire. Sorry, we're not THAT interesting. 

As I said in my last post--I worked all day yesterday. What I didn't tell you was I worked twelve hours--well--more like thirteen. I was supposed to work twelve with an hour break, but because there were so many people out, I only got a ten minute break to eat. I don't mind it though, it was a great day at work. :) However, my feet hated me. I didn't sit down until nine o'clock when I got back in my truck to head home. 

When I did get home, my friends Jessie and Clara were still there....along with a roaring campfire! Apparently, my family was having a cookout with a few of our family friends. There was food everywhere...which was good because I was STARVING! I had stopped at McDonalds to get a very big hamburger, fries and a HUGE coke. I didn't care how bad it was for me, I was hungry and I had only eaten a sandwich for lunch. I. Was. Starving. 

I did consent to share my fries with my friends and brother, but the hamburger was mine. Sorry, but I'm fighting for those calories now. Can you believe I've lost twenty five pounds in one month?! 0_0 I only 'needed' to lose ten pounds, but because I don't really eat much three to four days out of the week--I've dropped down at least two sizes in clothes. Normally, I'd be happy about losing the weight, but I'm not because I don't need to lose that much! That's not healthy, and I've had some problems with it. I'm getting a lot of warning signals from my body--ones that are serious enough that my mother has become concerned. So I have dedicated myself to getting more nutrition on those busy days. Yea, ironic to say that after admitting I ate a hamburger and fries without care. 

After I wolfed down my meal, I went outside with my friends and took some fun pictures while enjoying the fire. 

Jessie!

Clara!

The little siblings, they really enjoyed making S'mores and riding the golf cart. :)

I honestly have no idea...;)


But I just wanted to finish up yesterday's post...I'll post something small for today. :)